#2 - Laylat al qadr : spirituality, mini-'umra, new friends <3

It all began when I made the intention to pray the 27th night at the mosque. I struggled a bit, I prayed a lot and I met 2 awesome friends. This 27th night of Ramadan really felt like a mini-'Umra.

Eid mubarak !

I began this article before Eid and couldn’y publish it, because (obviously) the last nights of Ramadan followed by Eid al Fitr are one of the most busiest and tiring days of the year. Let’s not be perfectionnists and publish it now :)

It all started with an intention…

For the first time of my life, I stayed the whole night in the masjid.

I always wanted to do it but never made it before. But because of the tense context of this Ramadan and the strong feeling of wanting to take serious action to help the ‘Ummah, I said to myself:

“Let’s find a way and do it this year”.

This is how my intention got formulated.

Planning is the first action of turning an intention into a real deed…

I made a plan. I knew that Iftar time in Paris (after they changed the time changed in the middle of the month) was between 8.20pm and 8.40pm. I also know that I have 25 minutes by foot to the masjid. Because I know I will need a lot of time to prepare my iftar by myself in my kitchen and clean afterwards, I said to myself it is the opportunity to go eating in a good restaurant near the mosque. After eating there, I will go directly to the masjid, if Allah wills. This will take me only between 5 or 10 minutes walking to arrive there.

It is known that usually there is iftar at the mosque but I never went, and I wanted to eat something very yummy and take the opportunity to taste another recipe. I was treating myself with a good dish while wanting to get inside early.

Well begun is half done (- Aristotle)

I began to prepare my bag. While doing it I began to feel very excited. Maybe it is because of the thought that nothing will distract me from praying Allah for long hours, and that there will be people doing the same thing as me the whole night, sharing food, praying a lot, reading, drinking tea and sweets…

Tea ! Let’s bring something to the table like everybody else and prepare some Moroccan tea to share it with people there.

I took me a long time to prepare myself, to prepare the tea and put it in a thermos to keep it hot. I took a little towel, my big notebook and my musHaf to continue the meditative reading of surah al Kahf.

I sent a little picture with my backpack and sneakers to my very close friends saying :

“Dora the explorer is going to an adventure at the mosque for the night !”

I sent another picture of what’s in my bag, and wrote :

“Tawwaf kind of bag…”.

After sending this, I made an important realization :

“Wow, I’m feeling like I’m actually going to do a mini-’umra ! At 20 minutes walking only ! I should manage to make i’tikâf¹ and treat it like a real trip next Ramadan. If I don’t have money to go do ‘umra next year, let’s do that first inshâllah !”

I went out ! Pretty much on time. And this is so special for me.

I an known to rarely make anything on time. Going out of my house not in a hurry and not anxious about the time is very very special. I appreciated this a litle bit only, because I didn’t fully believed that I was actually on time (“something must be missing”, I thought).

Accepting Allah’s plan in your journey > feeling dreadful not following your own plan to the letter

I knew this halal Thai restaurant was not that crowded in comparison to the restaurant next to it. So I wanted to arrive there 20 minutes before iftar.

On my way, I remembered to buy some things from the bakery for the night/suhoor. So I chose a cheese puff pastry and chocolate croissant.

I arrived at the restaurant, around 15 minutes before. The iftar was at 8.32pm. I took green curry. He said it will not be fast to praper around 20 minutes , because he had 6 orders I think (which is not even the quarter of the restaurant.

I waited eating dates they put on the table as well as some dumplings I ordered. After finishing it, I waited again and again.

They made more than 40 minutes to serve it. I was a bit sad and frustrated that I pay to eat outside to finally arrive there as if I ate at my house and went there late. But I accepted, saying Allah will make a way for me there.

The green curry was sooo good. But I had to eat it very quickly, so I was even more frustrated to not enjoy this amazing taste properly.

Then I thought about ou brothers and sisters in Gaza that don’t have the quarter of this food and peace of mind that I have, which made me thankful and dreadful at the same time.

’Ishaa was at 10pm, so I went out immediatly after eating my food, at 9.20pm.

Allah is going to test your sincerity and patience

I arrived there around 9.25pm.

The entrance, an people entering in a hurry

As expected, no more space in the ladies area inside the mosque.

A small part of the amount of shoes, in the ladies section.

The volunteers opened the classrooms that are ready to be opened for ladies if the main prayer room is full. They opened it in front of me and got into it.

Unfortunately, without going into too much details, some people took spaces around them for their family members or friends. Some other people don’t make any effort to create space around them for people to come, even when brothers and sisters are waiting outside under the rain (and it was the case that night) .

I saw an empty space on the first line, but a prayer mat was there. I asked the lady next to it :

-Is there someone here ?

-Yes yes yes, it’s for my daughter

I found it cruel because I almost entered first in the classroom, and I needed to pray Maghreb before ‘Ishaa. I decided to find a little space and tell women to leave a space, in vain. I anted to create another line in-between two lines with a women the sisters behind us said we should not stay here because they couldn’t do sajdah at all. This attitude could be found with some women in the masjid, which is very surprising to me. I couldn’t remember where it’s from, but my mother always told me that there is a quote, saying something like :

“Leave space for your brothers, even if it becomes so crowded that you do sajdah on their back”²

After a long time standing there, I looked again at this empty place on the first row. The prayer mat looked little, but the space looks a bit big. Her daughter is a child or an adult ? If she is a child we can definitely fit there. I was about to ask this question to the woman but when I saw her wanting to make takbir with her hands, I decided not talk. For some reason she felt someone was behind her, stopped the takbîr, turned around and said :

Excuse-me, this place is full, there is my daughter.

At that moment, I was upset. As I usually do when I am upset, I looked at the lady in the eyes intensly, while being silent for a seconds. It felt long but, really, it wasn’t more than 2 seconds.

I responded, with that look :

I KNOW.

At that moment, I took the decision to get out of that room immediately, to avoid any further discussion that can easily escalate into a big argument³. I think it is because Allah put into my head the thought that it is a test. My mother always told me about this kind of test (the test of the crowd and fights during Hajj and ‘Umra), and how some people lost patience, and at the same time, lost the ajr of their ‘Umra with it.

I got out tellin myself :

“I’m really training well for ‘Umra ! This feels a bit like it”

I took my bag and tried to sneak in another classroom.

I sat in another room, next to old women that can pray only on chairs. I decided to pray Maghreb there, and to remove the chair when salah will begin.

An old lady looking came at the door asked :

-Is there a little space for me here with you, sisters?

-Yes, come here, I said.

She sat next to me and said in Moroccan darija :

- Thank you my daughter ! I swear to God, the ladies are reserving seats for others as if we are sitting in a wedding… La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah…

I began to pray in a very very small place, al hamdulilah. I was genuinly very happy that I wasn’t being waiting outside. So I ejoyed praying there.

After some rakaat, I could enter the main ladies prayer room. I prayed well the last rakaat al hamdulilah.

(It was more crowded than in this picture, obviously)

That unexpected moment I met my friends

After taraweeh, a sheikh gave a little lecture about laylatu al qadr when most people left. Some women, such as me, decided to lie down. I felt very sleepy.

At some point, I turned my face to the left. I saw the sister right next to me lying down and reading a book in English. I looked at her and she looked South East Asian. I started in English, whispering to her :

-You speak English right ?
-Yes !

-Where are you from ?

-From Philippines :)

- Oh great ! If you want let’s go downstairs, I came with some tea, let’s drink it together.

When the sheikh finished his lecture, we took our bags to go downstairs where we were allowed to eat.

As we were about to go, I heard a voice:

Salam ‘alaykum !

She is my colleague from work, that don’t even live in the area. Seeing her there was special, and at that moment I thought that, indeed, Laylatu al qadr is a special moment, where a lot of things could happen.

-Oh wow, what are doing here ?! So nice to see you ! What about we go downstairs to drink some tea ?

The room downstairs is made for people to pray, and also to eat during Ramadan. It is usually a big parking lot that became a mix between a praying room and eating room.

A lady, Z., started talking with J., the sister from Philippines in English. I found out that they knew each other a few days ago at the mosque.

You know what, It was a real mission to go for wudhu at the ladies toilets !

And this is the beginning of very good memories with J. and Z., two sisters with whom I became close during that night. We laughed a lot, prayed a lot, read a lot, made du’a a lot. A lot of barakah. Also, we were very motivated to go every night to the mosque, so they are a very good companionship for me.⁴

Us eating in that room

We weren’t gave the date of Laylatu al qadr so that we can look for it and be attentive to nature

We completed the night until Fajr, Al Hamdullilah.

Before we separate our ways to go home outside the masjid, Z. said:

I was sure that this night was Laylatu al qadr. I was so excited to come without knowing why, and like every year I pay attention to the sky and to nature each night of the 10 last nights. This Maghreb was special, haven’t you noticed ? The weather wasn’t the same, the sky was more beautiful and the sky was pink and blue, not very cloudy. I am even more sure that it is Laylatu al qadr because one of our du’aas was answered on the spot. Me and J. made du’a to learn Arabic and Qur’an, and you [talking about me] told us by yourself “Girls, do you want me to teach you arabic and tajwid ? I am able to do that”. Subhannallah !

Our pictures of when the sunrise, when we were our way home, that morning.

We also went the 29th of Ramadan, and on the top of that, I managed to stay the whole night by the will of Allah, which I would maybe not do if I was alone. They supported me and encouraged me towards ‘ibaadah and discipline.

I thank Allah for those new local friends.

May Allah strengthen their imaan, may Allah accept their du’aa, may allah grant them ease, May Allah give them a place in Paradise.

Ameen.

Our hands making hearts

End note : You know what is funny ? We don’t have the same age, the same job and the same background at all. One is 37 and doesn’t wear hijab at all outside, the other is two years older than me (27) and she just converted to Islam a few months ago. Our jobs are even more different. But it matched !

1. I’tikâf is a spiritual retreat in the mosque. The ten last nights of Ramadan are so special that as Muslims we are encouraged to spend it on prayers and reading the Qur’an or dhikr (purely spiritual matters). The Prophet (saws) used to do it often.

2. If you know about it please feel free to write it in the comments !

3. I began to realize that whenever you go in Paris region you can easily fight for everything and anything, unlike other countries. I thought it was everywhere the same. Actually I think it is everywhere the same, but it takes different forms. In France, I feel that year after year the atmosphere is becoming more and more tense between people.

4. We spoke in the eating areas, not in the prayer room where people make du’a and pray. We knew that the purpose of coming to the house of Allah is not to talk all night, but we did it when we took a break, in the dedicated room for it. I mention it because, still, a lot of people talk to much in the prayer room, disturbing people and saying nothing interesting. However, it wasn’t the case that night : I felt that women that came were like us : they came here to pray and do dhikr, not to waste the whole night.