How I Overcomed Anxiety in Organizing my time in Ramadan, and succeded (+tips)

Here are some insights of what I learned during this first week of Ramadan, from a bad organizer (most likely ADHD).

I was stressed before Ramdan starts as well as the first days. The whole food preparation (so that I can be free during the month) is not where I’m better at. Also, me thinking and seeing everyday my brothers and sisters being tortured and killed in Palestine is completely disheartening, and I’m tired because I constantly think about wether I’ve made enough to stop this to happen. Time managing is also a bit challenging for me.

Here is what I did trying to succeed this Ramadan.

Source : Funoon Studios

Anxiety of time managing

I struggle to not be anxious about organisation. I know I fail a lot parlty because I don’t like living by artifical “hours” on the clock. In front of the amount of things I have to do, I freeze and often be anxious for 2 hours instead of doing one of them at least. Sometimes, I do organize but because I’m not “sure anymore”, I stay in this state of uncertainty and kind of hyperactive state of mind. I’ve made huge progress this year, al hamdulilah. However, I comes back when something is scaring me, especially when it is something that I assess as being very important and great. Even though I am super excited for Ramadan, I am also very afraid I fail.

I struggled to chose objectives because too many options were possible, and when I chose them I was afraid that I would be able to realize them. Day after day, I tried to make it look more simple and realistic.

Tip 1 : Always seek for Allah help, in your intention first and all over the process

Applying this tip was the reason why I succeded a lot more than before. Seeking Allah’s help when you’re anxious is in fact the only thing you need to succeed in your life. It is also the meaning of verse 5 of Surah Al Fatihah, that we recite at least 17 times a day :

اياك نعبد و اياك نستعين

You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help.

We have to build our aims with the intention to please and worship Allah, but don’t forget to ask for his help to do so all the time.

My goals this Ramadan :

This year, I decided to have 3 main goals, and 1 other task :

1- Qur'an : revise and meditate Surah Al Kahf

2- Tarawih, majority of the days at the masjid, other days at home

3- Sports to stay physically active

Other task : creative exercise linked with the preparation of this Eid

The two first goals are my main priority, knowing that I have a full time job. Have I succeded for now ?

My assessment of this first week :

I kind of succeeded in the two first ones, and I completely failed in the two others. Writing it now, I feel it is a rather good progress, even though I thought I almost failed. In terms of emotions, it was a roller coaster, maybe because I felt the consequences of fasting and not sleeping much a lot this week.

Tip 2 : Don’t accept too much invitations of iftars outside, or, if you accept, do it with conditions

In this month, the worst thing you can do is waste your time. I am not capable of accepting too much invitation outside because it ruins my efforts of trying to have a spiritual routine while ignoring everything around me. Sometimes it can be good : for example, having iftar at the masjid is always good, as you can easily pray with the group. It is encouraging and it influences you on the good. However, I’m not fond at all of “iftar parties”, because it is not appropriate at all in my opinion. Cooking for people you love is good, but this month didn’t came for us to do that. Each one of us have to focus on his or her aims to be closer to Allah, especially in terms of spiritual acts. No focusing on doing the maximum of‘ibadah you can but focus on cooking extra recipes for gatherings and watching together “Ramadan’s soap operas” while being exhausted with house chores is not a way you can achieve what you want to achieve¹. This time I accepted an invitation saying : “my condition is to pray ‘Isha and tarawih at your house, or in the masjid next to your house”.

Tip 3 : Sleep is key ! Rest early and stay awake after Fajr

This one is absolutely game changing for me. Before, I couldn’t sleep early and stay awake after Fajr. The time I felt more energy was the night, so I did my best to learn Qur’an and go to the tarawih at that time. However, I couldn’t wake up before 12 pm. If I woke up before 12pm I felt a kind of strong headache. And when I woke up, I didn’t do much, except cooking and cleaning.

This year I can’t do that because I’m working full time during the week.

I discovered that staying awake after fajr by any mean during Ramadan was so energizing to go to work. I sleep during my breaks, and then I feel good again for the afternoon.

That way, I feel I live according to how Allah created the earth and us. What is the meaning of fasting, if you sleep half of the day ? What is night is you stay awake the whole night ? What is qiyyam al layl except, what Allah told us in the Qur’an, which is using a part of night to pray and the other to sleep ? That means that even someone that does Qiyam Al Layl on a regular basis has to sleep at a moment of the night.

Al hamdulilah, everything changed when I applied this tip.

I also advise you to calculate at what time you should sleep using this Sleep Cycle calculator.

Fasting this Ramadan while brothers and sisters are starving to death and under a genoc*dal plan

How to feel, and what to do when we see this happening every day ? This is one of the thing that is hurting my emotions a lot and contributed immensly to the anxiety I faced.

What can I do ? What can we do ? What Am I doing ? Is it enough ?

Those questions can last forever in one’s head,but without doing nothing. That emotions can be felt even stronger if you do nothing.

What can I do before thinking of a miracle solution to it ?

Prayers with sincerity. Du’as with sincerty.

Tip 4 : dedicate your sajdas to Allah for Gaza

It is a tip for any other day, but it is even more relevant in Ramadan. We know that in Ramadan, Allah opens the doors of mercy and is accepting the tawbah and du’as. Often, we feel that doing this is “nothing”.

First of all, it is not nothing, it is almost everything. Secondly, if you think it’s too little and that we have to do more, why you are not even making it ? That’s a trap : thinking that it’s a “too easy thing” and that it is not a “real sufficient” act can only make you do nothing more than nothing.

By the way, it looks like a trap from Shaytaan.

Tip 5 : Don’t cook too much, don’t waste food

This has changed also my appreciation of Ramadan, because I put less on the table. I can feel the beautiful simplicity of each ingredient, and the deep flavour of the meal.

I don’t waste and I don’t eat very unhealthy food. I do it also with the intention of not being disrespectful towards people that are starving.

Tip 6 : Boycott, boycott and boycott again !

Download the apps like “No Thanks” or “Boycott X” (in France) to see what you can buy. Doing this is a great deed that is useful for the situation in Gaza, but also for the society as a whole. Indeed, I saw that majority of those brands propose unhealthy food, or have a production that destroys the ecosystem.

What if what is happening in Gaza can be the awakening for us to change the merchandising system ?

Tip 7 : Write, speak and share what you can about the situation

It is one of the biggest part of doing the job : sharing about the situation. I heard a lot of Palestinian even asking for this, even more than financial donations.

If we don’t speak, their situation will never change. Now, we spoke and it changed. The public opinion is widely seeing what is happening, and believes less mainstream media. Lies and untold truths are becoming normal there, and people are not believing anything and everything what to used to be an official source.

Do as much as you can to dedicate a little bit of your time to share this, with the intention to do good deed,and may Allah reward you for this.

Final tip : Never miss Tarawih at the masjid (or at home sometimes)

Men’s sections in two famous mosques near Paris.

Even though I'm a woman, I now aknowledge that I NEED tarawih so that my day and night can be good. Despite the fact that majority of women around me say they are “more concentrated at home”² and that “it’s better for women to pray at home”³, I feel that it is less the case for me at the moment. I am more focused when I pray in the masjid than when I pray home. I’ve tried to stay at home a few times, but it I’m neither organized nor very concentrated. Everything around me is calling me to clean, to read, to rest or to do any other task. I also feel that I need to digest and I start to pray a bit late for someone who wants to sleep early.

When I go to the masjid, I feel happiness and tranquility. I’m not disturb by negative things that others might do. Because I don’t go out much this month (almost no collective iftar with the outside world except my family), this is the time I see the community. Seeing people dressed well while remaining simple, walking at night to go together to reach the masjid is so beautifully powerful. It is there that I see the community, people like me who work, fast, and pray at night. It gives me inspiration and courage for all the days left, because I don’t feel alone. Moreover, I can sleep early at home if I go to the masjid. It made it simple for me : I just have to go out of home at a specific time, and when I come back I sleep directly.

It also making me physically active : 40 minutes of walking in total (20 minutes to go there) and 13 raka’at done.

What can I dream more than this to succeed during Ramadan !

1. With all due respect.

2. Some women around me are complaining about some bad habits they don’t like from some women in the masjid. I think that thinking like this is concentrating on the bad only, and personnally it has never touched me to the point of not wanting to go anymore. On the contrary, I makes me feel alive, and experiencing life with people, in a very safe place.

3. It is referring to a hadith, that I do take very seriously. What I understood from lectures is that women have been given as an advantage by Allah because of their needs and lifestyle. Women that have children, that have to take care of the house and family or that are afraid for their safety are allowed to pray home, without any difference : a woman that is praying home is rewarded a lot. I also accept that there could be a wisdom for a woman to not go (as said often she is talking too much there, or she is not covered properly etc… so it could be better for her to stay home, fulfill her social duties as well as a focused salah). However, there is another hadith saying that "we should never prevent women from masajids”. So it is not at all an act that should be generalized in every case and for every woman at any time. If so, the women will never be found in the masajids except for eids ! (and for a lot of reasons this could not and should not happen for this ummah, as we we see it wasn’t like that in the time of the Prophet sws).